girlwithout | (no subject)

It’s quiet. There’s no one around the place – benefit of coming to a gravesite in the middle of the night, she guesses. It’s quiet. Kind of peaceful. Easy to hear herself think.

Rikki drops down onto the grass and just… looks at the headstone for a minute, taking it in. She hasn’t been here in a while, what with her work and school and technically still being a person of interest from the Secret Empire’s whole fuck-up at the school. There aren’t any flowers by it like there are in some other graves, but there’s no one to leave them for him. Just her.

(For a second, she feels bad, guilty, because he should have flowers. He should have someone to leave him flowers, but she can’t stay here and there’s no one else. They were the only two left.)

She clears her throat. “Hey.”

It’s quiet. Almost peaceful.

“Sorry I haven’t… you know. I wasn’t too busy for you, I swear, I just… it’s hard, you know?” She sighs and plucks a leaf off his headstone. “You were the only person worthwhile in this place at first. You were like…” Her voice threatens to shake, but she holds herself stiffly and tries to keep it under control. “You were the brother I always wanted. The one I got at home, he was…”

"John, it’s me. Rikki. Your sister. Your only sister. What’re you gonna do, shoot me?"

"If I have to."

“…not good. Kinda terrible, actually.” She lets herself go quiet again for a few minutes. “I just… I really miss you. I feel like we barely got any time, and it’s not fair. We were only just getting to know each other, you know? Like, there was still a lot I wanted to ask you about everything.”

She swipes a hand over her face suddenly, viciously, and tries not to notice that it comes away wet. “I love you, you know? You were the only family I had here, and you were great to me even though you didn’t even know who I was. You were like I thought a big brother was supposed to be – protective and kind and this best friend that was always there.”

She sighs out, already failing to figure out what else there is to say. “I miss you so much. So if you’re in, I don’t know, Valhalla or Heaven or whatever, there’s someone here that misses you a lot and hopes you’re doing great, cause you deserve it.”

After a moment, she leans forward and lets her fingertips brush against the stone gently. “Goodbye, I guess. But I’m gonna come back again. Promise.”